I'm praying for a revival

"Surely you heard of him and were taught in him accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body." - Ephesians 4: 21-25

Dear Eve,

Please hear the deep mourning of my heart, as God has again revealed my sickness that corrupted so many blessings that graciously fell from Him. These words that fall off my lips are from my core, and until everything is transparent and naked before you, I cannot have peace. I longed to be pure and holy. I wished to be clean and worthy. But I fell so short of not only God's glory, but to your beauty. All my efforts have been with my strength, my motives, and my subjective thinking. And this led me to be completely blind from appreciating our holy relationship. My perverted mind ran uncontrollably in my head and planted seeds of destruction as it skipped around callously. My body was enslaved to all the sinful desires - my unconscious mind whipped my body, commanding it like a slave. This truly is the closest description I have to illustrate the pain I felt while committing wrong against you. Just like a slave, after my mind raped my body, I was disgusted at myself and hated my corrupted, evil rationale, which pointed and laughed, as it watched my body obey its bidding. I had shown a fingertip of humility to God, and turned around to you with egotistical and prideful eyes. My drunkenness in my pride consumed me and made it impossible for me to feel any real compassion (with should be led by action not only to your face but also when our backs are turned), and most importantly, to love you as myself. I had taken your ideas of romance for granted. I spoke words to comfort you and to gain your trust, all in the end, to crush your heart. I drew the most inaccurate picture of love by blindfolding your eyes, and whispering hope in to your ears, as I led you straight to despair. My falsehood has jaded your worldview of love, trust, and especially of men, and I take full responsibility for the callousing of your heart.

I honestly cannot believe I fell for all the lies Satan had been whispering in to my ears, telling me not to trust you and that you would do the same evil back to me. I'm here to say that I cannot tolerate the lies that have been running through my blood. If I had only knew the world didn't revolve around my justifying thought process and actually realized the objective desires of God, I may have saved your innocence - and may have even approached a true practice of a sacred relationship. I'm not trying to say I am perfect now that God has found me and is teaching me to turn inside out. I am still only human and the evil thoughts still lurk around me. Yes, my sinful heart is a part of me! But please understand that Jesus cleanses me continuously. I am better today, and I will be even better tomorrow as God showers me with his wisdom and love. Please separate my sins from the goodness that comes from God, and see my potential. Could you please be gracious and forgive me (and all men) for I am only human, totally depraved, and dominated by the lies of this world. You are one of the greatest blessing God has given me. Please accept my apology for all the deceptions that may have harmed you emotionally and spiritually. I hold my actions responsible, not only for causing your heart to sink, but also for the never ending cycle of anger and frustration which is a DNA of our current society. Because of my blindness, I have made you defensive, and Satan has used me as a puppet to stir evil thoughts in your heart as well, so that he can give me a reason to attack back even stronger. I started this battle, which naturally created a wall that deters us from quickly joining in partnership to overcome any struggles.

You allow me to find my hidden emotions and give me insightful perspective in my life. In the areas I am weak, you support me to be strong. You give me confidence in my walk and awaken my drunkenness. We need reconciliation - to form a bond that moves as one. Let's break this culture and show the world how heavenly we were made to be. Let's pull down the kingdom of God, here on Earth, and celebrate like Eden is here! I wish to be in partnership with you, to wave the holy flag up high and clear, as we proclaim not only our unity, but also our allegiance to God.

Love,

Adam

"We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God." - 2 Corinthians 5:20-21