It feel so good to cry

When something goes terribly wrong, (especially if our hearts are not jaded) our emotions overwhelm us, and it pours out of us in uncontrollable tears. Likewise, when something amazing happen, (especially if our hearts are not jaded) our emotions once again dominate us, and it pours out in ridiculous laughter or joyful tears. In both scenario, we know that our expressions of our emotion will not have any effect on the event that's caused it, but we let it out anyway because it not only feels great, but it satisfies and completes our emotion. It's like saying, "I love you," to the person you love, and not holding it inside of you - it just feels so damn good when you say it. However, as soon as we begin to think about our "irrational" behavior, we immediately cut off the natural reflection of our spirit.

John Piper describes this perfectly when he says that "our emotions are a means to an end". I really believe this. Our emotions simply just complete how we feel deep within, but we don't expect to change our current environment (if we do, we are being delusional or our motives are selfish).

One time I remember I tried out for all state chamber orchestra (i played the violin), and even after practicing for hours and hours everyday for months, I didn't make it. When I found out, I was devastated. I went to my room silently, closed the door, sank my face in to my pillow, and just cried for at least 30 minutes straight. It felt amazing. It didn't change the fact that I hadn't made all state, but my heart definitely felt lighter and a lot of my frustration disappeared. I know it's a silly illustration, but what if in the middle of my crying I started to think rationally? What if I started to question, "Why am I crying?" "Is it going to change the outcome of the roaster if I cry?" If I did this, I would have immediately cut off the chance to express my emotions. My rational mind would have stopped the natural/irrational outpour of my soul. And this would have sucked. It felt so good to cry... it felt amazing to let out my emotion that was really saying, "I am not in control of my life." It felt so good to let my insecurities out in the open.

I really believe we (christians and non-christians) do this constantly, especially at the worst of times - the times when God wishes to speak to us or move us. We have a hard time worshipping as our spirit leads us because we think "rationally" during service. We have a hard time witnessing to people around us because we allow our environment to break our discipline. We have a hard time soaking in the spiritual revelations because the mind of the world dominates our thinking process. We have a hard time allowing spiritual gifts to flow out of us because our logic consumes us. There's should not be any logical thinking when the Spirit of God touches us - only an open heart for the Spirit to overflow out of us. As soon as we become rational about this sort of behavior, we cut off the Spirit from driving us.

It must really upset God the way we think - the way we place our reality over His. But this is what really gets me.. how RELENTLESS He is. He never gives up! He keeps trying to talk to us over and over and over again, until that one moment when our pride breaks and we are able to feel His presence and hear His whispers.. And we realize that He's been there all along :)