Thy Will Be Done

"My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt." - Matthew 26:39

We cry out, "Abba, Father," which really comes close to the translations of the first instinctive words as an infant, to remind our selves of our position to God and to get in to a relationship with Him. The understanding of God as our Father is not only crucial because Jesus directs us to this title when we approach Him with our prayers, but also because it is healthy for our spirituality - the position of God as our Father and us as infants humble us to see that He knows all and we do not. It is really when we forget or do not know of our infancy, we are not able to surrender to His will. How often do we come to our heavenly Father, who knows what is eternally healthy for us, and ask/demand the desires of our heart? I'm not supposing that as Christians we should not petition, because we should. However, we should not petition without recognizing God as our Father, and without surrendering to His will. As Jesus faced taking the burden of humanity, He petitioned to God, but never forgot the importance of carrying out the will of the Father. Tim Keller puts it perfectly when he says, "The child who acknowledges that he is a child is ironically more mature. The more childlike you are the less childish you are, spiritually speaking. And the more the parental heart goes out to that child." It is only when we understand this Father to son/daughter relationship, we are humbled, spiritually more mature, and God is able to show us and give us things He couldn't have possible done so before. As a parent would trust a child who is more mature, God is also able to trust us with greater things of His realm when we acknowledge our infancy and are humbled. We, too often, ask and want the greater things of God, without readying our relationship and our character for Him. And this sinful nature is simply the byproduct of misunderstanding or forgetting of who God is - Our Father.

John Wesley prayed a powerful "Thy will be done" prayer:

"I am no longer my own, but Thine.

Put me to what thou wilt, Rank me to whom thou wilt.

Put me to doing, Put me to suffering.

Let me be employed for thee or laid aside for thee.

Let me be full, Let me be empty.

Let me have all things, Let me have nothing.

I freely and heartily yield all things to thy approval and thy disposal.

And now that I have settled this,

O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,

Now thou art mine and I am thine.

So be it! And the commitment now I make on earth,

let it be ratified in heaven, Amen"

Are we able to speak these words as Christians? Do we really mean what we say when we recite the Lord's Prayer?

I believe one of the most beautiful thing about Christianity is that when we surrender, we actually do not limit ourselves, but free ourselves to the workings of His Kingdom - God is able to manifest Himself in us! And this has been His plan all along - to be manifested in us. However, without surrendering, our pride will only fill our hearts, our natural reality will take priority over His supernatural realm, and we will not be able to experience God. I pray that our church becomes a body that will honor God as our Father, will seek to see His face with true humility, and will surrender our hearts to carry out His will in every department of our lives.

Our Father...

“How many pray the Lord’s prayer a thousand times in a course of a year and yet if they were to keep doing it for a thousand more years they would not have really prayed or tasted it at all. In a word, the Lord’s prayer is the greatest martyr on earth. Everybody tortures and abuses it; so few get comfort and joy from proper use.” – Martin Luther

Unbelief

"And Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid.." Matthew 14:29-30

"The wind was actually boisterous, the waves were actually high, but Peter did not see them at first. He did not reckon wit them, he simply recognized his Lord and stepped out in recognition of Him, and walked on the water. Then he began to reckon with the actual things, and down he went instantly." - UMTH devotional

"Fear attacks the foundation of our relationship with God - our faith. Fear is faith in the devil, it is also called unbelief. Fear and faith cannot coexist - they work against each other." - Bill Johnson, Heaven invades earth

When we are not consumed with the fullness of His glory, our immediate reality takes priority over the spiritual, invisible reality. Naturally, we become more aware of the devil's dominion over earth: we become fearful (worrisome), filled with anxiety, and without even realizing, we enter into a state of unbelief. We no longer act as ambassadors of His Kingdom and release His presence into the environment, but turn faithless and allow the environment to dictate our decisions. We begin to react to the system instead of allowing His reality to dominate the system.

As we can see from the above scripture, our weak, rationale minds often overpower our faith and lead us in to darkness. We acknowledge darkness over His Kingdom power, and instantly become overwhelmed by our circumstances. We forget the Lord and we begin to doubt. And at this point, when our faith is tested, there is a mental process that happens extremely quickly in our minds. We give permission for our immediate reality to take over. Similar to how Adam and Eve gave up their authority to have dominion over earth to Satan, our immediate reality cannot have dominion over God's true reality (in our minds) unless we give it permission. Our faith fights against unbelief, and in an instant, we determine the winner. It may seem as if "nothing much" happened, but in the spiritual world, a violent war is waged. Two realities fight and only one has dominion over our minds.

We truly need to perform reckless abandonment for God to realize His reality, and to pull it down in to our reality. We need to have our faith anchored in the unseen realm so that our God may win all the wars fought in our minds/hearts - no matter the circumstance.

On Earth, as it is in Heaven

"That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us." John 17:21

Jesus prayed nothing less for us than absolute oneness with Himself, as He was one with the Father. And from reading what Jesus spoke, it's clear that God's ultimate desire is for His son to be manifested in our mortal bodies.

Lord, manifest Your Spirit in me. Come, be in control so that I may reflect your love, grace, and humility. There's nothing good that dwells within me if it is not your Spirit that drives me. I desperately need you to raise me up, so that I can live - and ultimately live to glorify you. I cast out, in Your name, the imageries of worldly life when I think about the word "living". I wish to live to gather and join You in Your harvest. I wish to live to worship You without departmentalization. I wish to live out my original purpose and subdue the earth with Your glory. GIve me the supernatural strength to yield each step so I allow your will to be done through me. Manifest Your Spirit within me, as you desire. I wish to be one with You.

Lord, without Your manifestation in me, I am powerless and cannot represent You the correct way - I cannot display the raw power of Your glory. It is disgusting that I call myself a christian, and I falsely represent you constantly. I need to show your power so that I can correctly represent your reality! At times, I am tricked to think I am being "realistic" and "humble" when I do not believe I can perform the miracles You performed in scripture - to heal the sick and cast out demons - but I realize that this is false humility. I am without true faith. Get rid of my unbelief so that I can walk on water. Get rid of the "fairy tale" ideas of your word, so that I can get closer to your superior, spiritual reality.

"Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on water and came towards Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord, save me!' Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. 'You of little faith,' he said, 'why did you doubt?'" Matthew 14:29-31

God! Cast out my sin of unbelief! Get rid of all my doubts! Build up a supernatural faith in me, so that I may bring down Your reality, Your heart, and Your will on earth. Constantly remind me of my identity - that I am an image of You. And as this thought crosses my mind, hit me with Your revelation and the power of this meaning.

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,

your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven...

In Christ, Amen.

Love = Fear

As I get deeper with God, "fear" has taken on a new meaning. The idea of fearing God had been set in my head since I was a boy, and it was always some sort of a just punishment for my wrong doings. I was terrified of His eyes that were always watching me, making sure I knew when I did something wrong. However, I didn't realize how much God really loved me, and the things I had considered "punishments" were merely a curse I had brought on myself (which implies true justice), or a phase of inconvenience to strengthen my character.

"Fear" really took a big turn when I started to love God. I've found that two different kinds of fear exist in this world - fear in terror and fear in love. The former form of fear makes us live in anxiety and insecurity, while the latter makes us live with joy and respect (for God, others, and ourselves). It was hard to understand that we are supposed to love and fear God at the same time. But from understanding the deeper meaning of fear, It's now clear that I fear because I love.

I also believe fear from love and respect is where true accountability lies. It is when we practice this type of fear - to be concerned with the thoughts of God, our parents, and our friends - we are able to have deep accountability.

I fear the impression God has of me. I fear the impression God has of my actions, my heart, and my thoughts. I fear God because I love Him. I always want to deeply, maybe obsessively, be concerned with what He thinks of me.

Puffed Up - Pride

I had written this article for my first Trumpet submission, but after today's small group (where Pastor Jae taught a bible study on pride and ego) I thought I should add this article to my blog...

The root of all evil is Pride, the exact opposite of Humility. “According to Christian teachers, the essential vice, the utmost evil is Pride. Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness, and all that, are mere fleabites in comparison: it was through Pride that the devil became devil: Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind” [CS Lewis, Mere Christianity]. My prideful mindset was unconsciously satanic and it was the main reason why I (and many others) could not accept or get closer to the God. I stuck proudly to postmodern worldviews, defended moral relativism, and refused to dig deeper in to these philosophical meanings. I proudly believed in pure logic, failed to see the actual source of logic, created delusions that everything must be proven, and attempted to solve the mystery of God. Even when I tasted a drip of God’s wisdom and grace, I suddenly began to act righteous, compared myself with others, became more judgmental, and failed to understand that the core of Christianity is humility. I proudly thought (rather than just executing) of performing righteous acts, pointed fingers when others did not behave the way I believe we ought to, instead of completing erasing myself from all equations so comparisons could never be drawn. It’s understandable that nonbelievers would be prideful, as this world preaches competitiveness and the “survival of the fittest” is the way to live. However, It’s truly mind boggling how having faith in the Lord can make people become such prideful beings, especially when God is asking us to “kill” ourselves and to fix our eyes only to Him. “It is a terrible thing that the worst of all vices can smuggle itself in to the very center of our religious life. But you can see why. The other, and less bad vices come from the devil working on us through our animal nature. But this does not come through our animal nature at all. It comes direct from Hell” [CS Lewis, Mere Christianity]. From my experience and meditations, I’ve drawn the below conclusions of pride, but hope to continue to discover how this cancerous vice makes people (including myself) delusional, and forces our thought process to be outside in.

1. Pride is based on competition in nature, as man can only feel Prideful when comparing himself to another. The form may be different and subtle for everyone- wealth, looks, cleverness, etc. And if everyone were exactly the same, Pride would not exist. But, as we all know, we live in a world that stirs Pride as our first instinctive, humanistic, delusional nature. This does not give us excuse to barricade ourselves from practicing the Truth- Love and Humility. We can easily tell how Prideful we are by seeing how much we hate it or how much we fight it. Think how much you hate it when someone brags about their large bank account or when someone talks “smack” towards you. In the absence of Pride, you would think that person is actually just plain silly, and would not feel any type of disgust at all (some may even play along). However, Satan works in deceiving ways. We hate it when others are Prideful because we immediate calculate how righteous we are compared to them, which is all a delusion, as no one is purely righteous. Although Satan persistently uses this vice, God has blessed us with a sword to fight the battle- Humility. I strongly feel that Humility is just as contagious as Pride, as one cannot continue being Prideful if the other is openly accepting all the blows- the Prideful man will quickly be able to see his own Pride in the presence of true Humility and will feel immediately foolish to continue. For example, when friends wrestle/fight (even for play), because of its competitive nature, as a winner and a loser will mostly likely be drawn, Pride will be stirred in both parties. If just one of the men chooses not to wrestle/fight, there would be none, and better yet, there would be no loser. The feeling of superiority would not be accomplished. I’m not saying to give up when someone challenges you. That’s not the point. Since you know the emotion of superiority is inevitable, the entire act in general should be avoided- mainly because you should care about the other person.

2. Pride also leads people to be self-centered. Instead of orbiting around God and our neighbors, we, due to our insecurities, grab the wheel and force the orbit to spin around ourselves. Naturally, it prohibits us from loving others because “everything is about me”. If we could only shun our prideful mindset, stop thinking about ourselves for once, and orbit around God and our neighbors, we would realize true freedom- freedom to forgive, freedom to serve, and freedom to love. Only when we stop orbiting around ourselves can we actually love another literally as ourselves. Don’t we always forgive ourselves for our own idiotic acts? We should be able to do exactly the same for all our neighbors (Criminals, Muslims, Atheists, etc), as we are all created in God’s image and to judge, we’d be essentially be attempting to play God. You can say it’s idealistic, but I say this is what it’s meant to be. We just lack discipline and are weak- becoming disciplined is a whole another topic.

“When we discern Jesus moving forward us and encircling us with an infinite, self-giving love, we are invited to put our lives on a whole new foundation. We can make him the new center of our lives and stop trying to be our own Savior and Lord. We can accept both his challenge to recognize ourselves as sinners in need of his salvation, and his renewing love as the new basis of our identity. Then we don’t need to prove ourselves to others. We won’t need to use others to bolster our fragile sense of pride and self-worth. And we will be enabled to move out toward others as Jesus has moved toward us” [Tim Keller, Reason for God]

3. Pride is a tricky vice. It’s used to crush other smaller vices and Satan laughs at us! “Be the bigger man and just say you’re sorry”, I remember saying. Obviously I didn’t realize I was falling in to one of His tricks again. He makes us believe we are performing the righteous act, but gives us cancer instead, as we quickly begin to clap ourselves on the back and collect our Pride. However, the more we become delusional, collect, and build on this vice, the harder it becomes to let ourselves go and see the Truth. Even when God blesses us with wisdom, it comes soaked with pride, and must be handled carefully. No matter the amount of wisdom gained, if a man judges another (and it’s easy because as Christians we believe we know what other men do not), he has underestimated the depth and breadth of God’s wisdom. For God’s wisdom is endless and no matter how much we strive, although we ought to, we will only merely eat crumbs of His wisdom. It’s like a child bragging to another child that he can ride a bicycle, while the other child is still on tricycles. As adults, we know this is silly, especially because the former child is bragging about his skills on a bicycle while there are incredible people that fly airplanes! These humanistic urges should be contained and we should constantly be in a struggle, as Satan relentlessly plays tricks on our minds and makes us think, “I’m being humble”, when we actually are, which immediately creates pride- pride at our own humility. CS Lewis describes how Satan speaks to his minions, to trick men even when they are attempting to be humble:

“By this method thousands of humans have been brought to think that humility means pretty women trying to believe they are ugly and clever men trying to believe they are fools. And since what they are trying to believe may, in some cases, be manifest nonsense, they cannot succeed in believing it and we have the chance of keeping their minds endlessly revolving on themselves in an effort to achieve the impossible” [CS Lewis, The Screwtape Letters]

I end with this last quote, which is my favorite:

“How is it that people who are quite obviously eaten up with Pride can say they believe in God and appear to themselves very religious? I am afraid it means they are worshipping an imaginary God. They theoretically admit themselves to be nothing in the presence of this phantom God, but are really all the time imagining how He approves of them and thinks them far better than ordinary people: that is, they pay a pennyworth of imaginary humility to Him and get out of it a pound’s worth of Pride towards their fellow-men” [CS Lewis, Mere Christianity]

I pray that, if we have not yet realized, we no longer serve a phantom God, no longer force the orbit to spin around ourselves, but forget ourselves completely and swim in God’s glory, wisdom, and love.

Lukewarm?

As God chipped away my bricks of pride and my self absorbed ways, I was able to yearn to understand more of His heart and His will. And as I meditated to get my heart to be in sync with His heart, I was hit with a revelation regarding my false humility - I'm constantly praying for cleansing (feeling humble as I seek Him) but then standing back up to go on with my own subjective ways. It hit me that true humility is not when I simply pray for forgiveness. This is only half of the process, and without the latter, it is false humility - a delusion, and a lie to myself. I realized I need to seek forgiveness, and right away, live out my repentance - resurrecting and dying to myself so that I am able to carry out His will, not my own.

One thing that sharply struck my heart, as I dove deeper into Him, was my lack of concern for humanity. It's so easy to go about my own business and not care of others who can really benefit from just a moment of my time. And it's so easy to fool myself to think that I care about true equality, when my actions prove otherwise. It's funny now thinking of how I had wanted a softer heart for humanity while not doing anything about it. This world really does a great job of blinding my eyes so that I cannot see, taste, and hear the Truth. It likes to keep me in my comfort zone and tell me I'm doing fine - that thinking of loving is enough. I realized my hesitation to serve and "get dirty" evolved me to be more and more self absorbed and jaded from realizing real beauty, and experiencing true joy. Even my prayers were constantly focused on myself - "God help me to understand" instead of "I want to serve Your kingdom". It looks like I've been pleading to God to serve me, and not the other way around. I repetitively forget that This entire story is about Him!

Forcing myself to turn my revelation into action, I went to New York City to serve at Feed 500. I have to admit, it wasn't easy getting up early to head in to the city to spend time with people I didn't know. And I had always wanted the passion first, so that I can serve. I didn't want to fake it. If I was going to serve, I wanted the desire to be there. I guess I really underestimated the power of sin in this world, and how it calluses my heart to suppress and destroy the desires to be righteous. But really, it was just as it's written in the Bible - like the crippled that initiated the healing process by reaching out for Jesus before actually being healed. When I finally obeyed first, and served, I understood God's will and it stirred the passion in my heart. Although it was a struggle the entire way up to Harlem, as soon as I got there, the Spirit started to steer the wheel. And John, the director of Feed 500, really set the stage for my heart to yearn to serve.

"We are not here to feed as many people as possible. We are here to love them by listening, spending time with them, and showing them that we care. Thousands of people walk passed them every single day. If this happened to you, wouldn't you murmur and talk to yourself? Wouldn't you be just as consumed with loneliness and fear? You all have two lunch bags. One for you and one for a person that is homeless."

As John spoke these words, I was finally able to relate. I started to imagine thousands of people walking passed me as I desperately asked for money for my next meal. I started to imagine a world without family to watch out for me. I started to imagine being tortured because I was vulnerable, without anyone to care about me. Why didn't I do anything to care for humanity before? How can I be a Christian if I cannot get out of my head and genuinely love like Christ loved? Talk is cheap. I never cared for humanity because I never chose to get dirty, understand, and gain real perspective. This event truly opened my heart to love people a little more.

The day went great. I hung out in the open near Penn Station with a couple of people that were homeless at the time, and we had a blast eating lunch together. They were so happy to just have someone listen. And when I asked if I could pray for them, they were estatic! The cost of all this? Just a moment of my time...

This experience allowed me to understand how to love. It is never just standing there and romanticizing to love - nor is it just loving those that we believe are "worthy" of our love. But to love is exactly like how Christ loved - how he gave up all the glory and comfort, limited Himself to time and flesh, got dirty in this sinful world, and died to raise all of humanity. I need to love by breaking my comfort. I need to get down and dirty. I need to die to myself - my will and my subjective ways - so that others may know the Truth. I want to serve with this love.

It feel so good to cry

When something goes terribly wrong, (especially if our hearts are not jaded) our emotions overwhelm us, and it pours out of us in uncontrollable tears. Likewise, when something amazing happen, (especially if our hearts are not jaded) our emotions once again dominate us, and it pours out in ridiculous laughter or joyful tears. In both scenario, we know that our expressions of our emotion will not have any effect on the event that's caused it, but we let it out anyway because it not only feels great, but it satisfies and completes our emotion. It's like saying, "I love you," to the person you love, and not holding it inside of you - it just feels so damn good when you say it. However, as soon as we begin to think about our "irrational" behavior, we immediately cut off the natural reflection of our spirit.

John Piper describes this perfectly when he says that "our emotions are a means to an end". I really believe this. Our emotions simply just complete how we feel deep within, but we don't expect to change our current environment (if we do, we are being delusional or our motives are selfish).

One time I remember I tried out for all state chamber orchestra (i played the violin), and even after practicing for hours and hours everyday for months, I didn't make it. When I found out, I was devastated. I went to my room silently, closed the door, sank my face in to my pillow, and just cried for at least 30 minutes straight. It felt amazing. It didn't change the fact that I hadn't made all state, but my heart definitely felt lighter and a lot of my frustration disappeared. I know it's a silly illustration, but what if in the middle of my crying I started to think rationally? What if I started to question, "Why am I crying?" "Is it going to change the outcome of the roaster if I cry?" If I did this, I would have immediately cut off the chance to express my emotions. My rational mind would have stopped the natural/irrational outpour of my soul. And this would have sucked. It felt so good to cry... it felt amazing to let out my emotion that was really saying, "I am not in control of my life." It felt so good to let my insecurities out in the open.

I really believe we (christians and non-christians) do this constantly, especially at the worst of times - the times when God wishes to speak to us or move us. We have a hard time worshipping as our spirit leads us because we think "rationally" during service. We have a hard time witnessing to people around us because we allow our environment to break our discipline. We have a hard time soaking in the spiritual revelations because the mind of the world dominates our thinking process. We have a hard time allowing spiritual gifts to flow out of us because our logic consumes us. There's should not be any logical thinking when the Spirit of God touches us - only an open heart for the Spirit to overflow out of us. As soon as we become rational about this sort of behavior, we cut off the Spirit from driving us.

It must really upset God the way we think - the way we place our reality over His. But this is what really gets me.. how RELENTLESS He is. He never gives up! He keeps trying to talk to us over and over and over again, until that one moment when our pride breaks and we are able to feel His presence and hear His whispers.. And we realize that He's been there all along :)

Resurrection - Solidifying Humility

Our flesh is easily distracted by the perversions of this fallen world. Traps are set up everywhere to claw us in surprise, especially if we are ill-equipped of the scripture. Since we have not yet grasped the fullness of our potential (true sonship with God), we fall during our walk with the Lord. However, by the grace of God, we come to the realization of our short comings. From this revelation, we rid our stubborn ways and repent before God - trying our best to be "humble" by attempting to grasp the depth of our sin. I believe there are a couple things that can go wrong even from this point of revelation.

If we are drowning in the guilt of our sin, we are not practicing true humility. This probably offends God, as He has came down from heaven to die for us, and we are not allowing his blood to instantly cleanse us. His power should not take time, it is instant - as Jesus healed all the sick with a snap of His fingers when they begged for healing. We need to swim out of the pool of guilt that the demons have thrown us in. After we come to His presence, humbled, and we repent to our ways, we must resurrect to a new creation and push to do His will. This latter portion if what really solidifies humility!

False humility will hold us back from reaching our destination. True humility will ever hold us back from getting closer to His heart - Bill Johnson

I believe accepting (by repenting and realigning ourselves to God) and living out His will is true humility - this process makes us die to ourself and glorify God. If we do not perform the latter part of this process I believe we may be victims of false humility. What is the point of repenting if we are holding on to our desires to continue to live out in our subjective ways? If we are hit with the revelation to repent, we need to take action and start moving towards His heart. When our humility stops at repentance (by prayer) and we do not carry out the will of God, we are missing the mark.

It is still about us - still self absorbed - and we are simply attempting to satisfy our desire to feel cleansed - It's not yet about God.

My Romance - Rick Pino

Look at the way the flowers bloom for you

They want to show you their beauty, Lord

Running waters dance,

You and I romance

Unto you, be all the glory

Unto you, be all the glory

Angels dance around you

The earth it sings about you

Open up the heavens, Lord

Let your kingdom come to earth

My praises all surround you

My soul can't dance without you

Open up the heavens Lord

Let your kingdom come to earth

Kingdom Mindset

Living with a compass of objective morality is only the byproduct of Christianity. This is the minimum, most basic requirement of a Christian's life. When we experience His grace we cannot help but to desire to live according to His will, which is perfect objective morality. God is relentless in His love, and pushes us to perfection. This then sets the stage for humility. Not only does His grace burn our hearts to to live righteous, but also to be humble - as it is His grace that started it all. Humility should reign over all actions and thoughts, but we sometimes confuse mere repenting as humility. I'm not trying to understate the process that the heart presses through to soften and understand its illness. However, this repentance phase must be quick - as we have much more work to do. Mulling over our immoral ways has got to stop - it only allows demons to discourage us from walking towards God. We need to get up and start working for His harvest. We repent to be forgiven, but we do not repent enough to walk towards God's kingdom. As we move closer to God, our vision fades, and His eyes take over, transforming our reality. One of the biggest portion of Christianity, I believe, is living in His Kingdom mindset (God's perspective) - knowing that we were meant to live in Eden, and sharing (by producing action led by faith) the secret to do so, through Christ sacrificed. As we realize our original form - a masterpiece God created IN HIS IMAGE - we understand that God sent Jesus as a reminder of who we are.

"For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. " Romans 8:29.

In this verse, we see clearly that we are not created to be merely "humans", but of God, like Christ. When we realize this authority that God gives/shows us, we no longer live by reacting to the world (fashion, culture, diseases, etc.), but we invade the system and break the powers of darkness. Instead of praying for an open heaven, why aren't we living as if it is already open for us? Hasn't Jesus already died for us to open up the gates of heaven? Do we know what this really mean? I'm convicted that we are to live as if we are back in Eden. Even though we are in our human bodies, and in a world that desperately needs restoration, we need God's revelations to lead to personal transformation - to open up and expand realms where our faith can be exercised. Just because we are living in a fallen world, it does not have to dictate our minds - the power of God leaving impressions on our minds should rid our humanistic thoughts so that we may live in His kingdom NOW. Jesus died to restore our sonship (Godliness) - as we were created in His image - so that we may have the same authority, like Christ, over the world.

"I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." John 14:12-14

If we are not representing Jesus, in the ways of serving and performing miracles like Him, we should feel uncomfortable. Especially, because we pray "Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven". Replicating Jesus in every way is an obligation It is not an option. We offend God when we sit there and pray for an open heaven, when it is already opened for us. We are not guests of His kingdom! Jesus gave us keys to God's house - to open and visit God whenever we wish.

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Jesus, help us to grow our faith. You've given us authority, through your blood, to work the will of our Father. We wish to continuously move towards God's perspective, so that christianity does not become living a "moral life", but to expand Your kingdom the way the Jesus, the perfect example, had done. Align us to your will and your heart God. Amen!

Perspective Please...

"I was standing today in the dark toolshed. The sun was shining outside and through the crack at the top of the door there came a sunbeam. From where I stood that beam of light, with the specks of dust floating in it, was the most striking thing in the place. Everything else was almost pitch-black. I was seeing the beam, not seeing things by it. Then I moved, so that the beam fell on my eyes. Instantly the whole previous picture vanished, I saw no toolshed, and (above all) no beam. Instead I saw, framed in the irregular cranny at the top of the door, green leaves moving on the branches of a tree outside and beyond that, 90 odd million miles away, the sun. Looking along the beam, and looking at the beam are very different experiences." - CS Lewis

As I was reading this, I was first reminded by how, as a non-christian, I had looked at the beam of light (Christianity) and packaged away many assumptions of the so-called "lovesick" life, but actually had no idea what it would be to be IN the beam of light. I had mentally and verbally persecuted christians for living such a straight-jacketed life - a life style that didn't "enjoy" life." "It's too radical," I would say. "It's not balanced. It's not meant for me. It's too ridiculous." I was really an arrogant hater without any perspective before truly experiencing the love of God. But as God unveiled the truth and I moved closer to the beam of light until the beam fell on my eyes, my perspective of the world changed. I was no longer looking at the sunbeam, but looking along the beam. I realized the "balanced" life I had in mind was incredibly skewed, as I needed to know the whole picture before knowing where the middle lies. I only knew a little of what is "good behavior," so my balance was definitely leaning more towards the wrong side in the holistic picture. I started to receive revelations and amazing epiphanies as I started to experience His love. The key to this was humility - giving the benefit of the doubt that my perspective had been wrong my entire life.

"If he had never looked along pain he simply wouldn't know what he was looking at. The very subject for his inquiries from outside exists for him only because he has, at least once, been inside. This case is not likely to occur, because every man has felt pain. But it is perfectly easy to go on all your life giving explanations of relation, love, morality, honor, and the like without having been inside any of them. And if you do that, you are simply playing with counters. You go on explaining a thing without knowing what it is. That is why a great deal of contemporary thought is, strictly speaking, thought about nothing - all the apparatus of thought busily working in a vacuum." - CS Lewis

I was secondly reminded by how, even as a christian, I continued to look at the beam of light (Christianity) and judged others by the way they sang praise, fasted, prayed, and even questioned their kingdom mindset. When people sang praise "spiritually" I questioned their motive, as from my outside perspective, it seemed like people were doing too much that it looked fake. From looking at the beam, repetitively fasting and going out of my way for intercessory prayers didn't appear powerful. And it definitely sounded silly to desire the end times, as I felt the compassion in my heart to spread His love to as many as possible before His return. But as I moved closer to the beam of light until the beam fell on my eyes, my perspective of christianity began to change. I no longer feared man, as Jesus says (in Matthew 10:27-28), "What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight: what is whispered in your ear proclaim from the roofs. Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell." When I worship, I close my eyes, so that the world and the eyes of man fade, and I am alone with God. When I started to fast and pray, not only did I begin to see His powerful movement, but also began to understand His will more clearly - as repetitive fasting stirred constant humility to die more to myself. When I dropped my prejudice thoughts of christian eschatology (study of the end times), my kingdom mindset was changed - as a carpenter needs to have a clear picture of the final product as he works to accomplish his goal (which should also be used as a motivation). I became more motivated to serve His kingdom and to partake in the great harvest of the Lord. I'm now working with a goal in mind and I believe I am getting closer to His heart. I wonder what other beams of lights I am looking at, instead of looking along it.

I pray that we start with no prejudice against either kind of looking. "We do not know in advance whether the lover or the psychologist is giving the more correct account of love, or whether both accounts are equally correct in different ways, or whether both are equally wrong. We just have to find out. But the period of brow-beating has got to end." - CS Lewis

East to West

Lord, you came to break our culture. So please come, renew us with your Spirit and hit us with YOUR culture, so we may abandon our silly ways and follow the Truth.

I've been meditating on the differences of two cultures that I've been blessed to be very familiar with - the asian (eastern) culture and the american (western) culture. One thing in particular that stands out to me is the way the two cultures approach the idea of Respect. Growing up in an asian family, I understood at an early age that respect was something that was demanded and expected. You aren't really left with any choices - no ifs or buts. When you are asked to give respect, you reply, "how?". Then you are taught to perform all kinds of gestures and humbling acts to show what is due. This eastern idea of respect is extremely black or white - people do not need to perform anything to deserve your respect - you just give it. However, as I stand back and observe my current western surrounding, the idea of respect is exactly the opposite - respect must be earned. When western people are asked to give respect, their reply is "why?". Then, to earn their respect, you must present/act your reason to prove your worth. Because of the extreme capitalistic mindset, which is the heart our western culture, we are taught that we simply cannot give everyone respect before they perform some sort of a dance that is worthy of our clapping. This can come in many forms - school degrees, career positions, looks, or even a humble act that touch our hearts. Only then, when it is reasonable and "logical", can we gift them with the honor of having our respect. Now, I'm not here to point and weigh out the two cultures to see which one is superior. As a matter of fact, I believe that they are both very good, but they both also have fatal flaws that lead to their own ways of destruction. I believe God wants to tell us how important these two cultures are, but each one alone is not good enough. I believe God wants us to know that we need a super-culture that combines the eastern and western mentality, especially in regards to entering His Kingdom. And the chronologic matter - eastern (obedience) first, then western (understanding) after.

It's astonishing (and poetic) that God speaks to us in this manner when we open up His Word. Old testament is all about God saying, "I demand your obedience," and the new testament is when God comes down as Jesus, and explains, "This is why you should obey me." In another words, the old testament is extremely Hebraic (eastern) and the new testament is extremely Greek (western).

If we can think of ourselves as a parent for a moment, and having a child that we love, we would often tell the child, "Do as I say, because I am your parent" - we simply know better from experience, but cannot explain all the details of our reason because the child may not be at the age to even understand. So we put it simply for the child - "I know what is good for you. Trust me." And this is exactly what God does to us - He demands us to obey (have faith in Him and seek His Kingdom), and we will understand everything as we mature. If we look at it from a parental perspective, it'd be foolish not to obey first - for the child to demand answers to all his/her "whys?" before obeying. But isn't this what we often do? Don't we sit there, often demanding all the answers, and even fighting back as He is gracious enough to show us, obvious answers at that (because He knows how weak we are)? I think we've become too Greek...

Although the "obedience" performed by the eastern culture appears great, the problem rises because it lacks depth. Unlike the western mindset, the eastern mentality does not constantly ask "why?". I'm not understating the importance of obedience, but we also need to seek intimacy and depth by pushing to know more of God. Asian culture gives great respect, but often, it's extremely superficial, and this is because people perform "humble" gestures without having great substance to back their actions. Even when seeking God, everything becomes too religious and too much about sacraments. In regards to understanding His Kingdom, people with extreme eastern mindset (on average and from my experience) often lack biblical foundation because much of their faith is really blind and lacks depth. The western culture, however, has a tougher shell, and it makes leaping in to faith that much harder. Similar to needing a proper prerequisite to earn their respect (in the western mentality), when this is applied to the Gospel, the hearts of these people are colder, as they require deep reasoning for their faith. But as soon as they make the leap of faith, by risking their reasoning, they are able to see the warmth of God's embrace. We need to give our almighty God a benefit of the doubt, and trust Him, for He has created the entire universe, and put nature before our eyes as His witness. However, we cannot stop here! We need to solidify our foundation in the Lord, and understand his heart, his will, and develop our Kingdom mindset!

Can we break culture, please? Can we please break both, western and eastern, cultures? Jesus came down to break all cultures - societal and religious cultures! Let's make Jesus culture :)

Oneness

"Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.' So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." - Genesis 1:26-27

When God uses the word "our", I believe He is referring to the relationship of Trinity - God the Father, Holy Spirit, and Jesus Christ, His Son. And as He states that He has made man in His image and likeness, he purposely uses the word "our" to make a point that we are replicas of God, not only in our reasoning capacity, consciousness of the mind, and physicality of the body, but also in regards to the relationship of Trinity that God cherishes.

God's trinity relationship (God, Spirit, Jesus) = Man "trinity" relationship (Mind, Spirit, Body)

I believe it is very important to note that His reasoning, His conscience, His body, and the relationship of Trinity may be similar to ours, but is infinitely more powerful. That, although we are made in His image and likeness, we are infinitely a lesser version of God. I bet He has eyes like us, but it's probably in a way we can never understand, as we cannot launch ourselves to His dimension. We cannot possibly explain the Creator with the things He has created - we're only able to speak figuratively of His Greatness.

More and more I think about the trinity of God, and how He places such an importance on this community of His, I understand why we need relationships, and why we are created with our spirit, mind, and body. Holiness of God, I believe, is the oneness of this relationship (Trinity). I believe in the Garden of Eden, before the fall of man, we were pure and holy like God. We were "real" human beings, as our spirit, mind, and body were in oneness. I mean this because, before the fall, I believe our spirit led us to be in God's presence and our mind and body followed our spirit's lead. However, ever since Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden fruit, sin entered, and a curse was put on mankind (more like we cursed ourselves). The entering of the sin did not only make us 100% insecure - which is shown by the realization of nakedness - but also broke down the oneness of mankind. Due to the fall of man, I believe our spirit, mind, and body separated.

Our spirit still longed to be in God's presence - to feel the 100% security in God - as we find our purpose here. However, our flesh started to long for the world - to desire the created instead of the creator - and to take pleasure in imitation of the true happiness, which we find when we are directly in the presence of God. And our mind is stuck right in the middle - battling to pick a side and to wave the flag of allegiance to either God or Satan. And this, I believe, is why discipline starts with the mind. True discipline is making a habit of the good and ridding of the bad. Our flesh desires the bad and it is with our minds (which should be led by the Holy Spirit that lives in us) that we need to force the good into a habit.

We may at times temporarily, with our flesh, desire the good out of emotional high - either it be to love our spouse, love our neighbors, or to obey God - but soon our bodies will go it's natural route and desire the bad. However, when Jesus comes and restores all things - when his will is done, as it is on heaven, on earth - I believe we (spirit, mind, and body) will no longer be separate with our spirit, mind, and body, but be "one" again.

Forbidden Fruit

"Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. And the Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground - trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of he knowledge of good and evil... The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, " You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die." - Genesis 1:8-9, 15-17

When I read this passage and connect the relationship to our current state of "reality", the "fall of man" we see in this passage hasn't stopped with Adam and Eve. It happens now - it's a continuous cycle of man being granted free will, but choosing to taste the forbidden fruit and allowing sin to enter in to our lives.

I believe free will is an important ingredient for the creation of man, which further confirms the just characteristic of God, so that we are able to worship Him by choice - out of love, not out of force. Without this ingredient, the purpose of creation would be meaningless to God, but with it, it means everything to God. And although the gift of free will to man has caused terrible heart aches for Him, apparently, He saw it worthwhile and perfect. Similar to a romantic relationship, God wants us to choose to Love Him for who he is, and what he represents.

Free will has great rewards for God when it is carried out the way it was designed to be, but because of its nature, it is inevitable that the contrary would be a part of this package. When we are given the choice to exercise our free will, and it's performed against God's will, we are basically choosing to taste the forbidden fruit. As I meditate on this concept, I can't imagine how much God's heart has been broken over and over again, as we constantly step over our boundaries and slap God in the face - "No I will not respect the line you have drawn for me! I will choose to disobey. I will choose to live my life with my subjective ways." Similar to Adam and Eve, even though we are well aware of the wrong, we often choose to disgrace God. When we disobey and taste the forbidden fruit, we allow Satan to enter in to our lives, and cast a curse on to ourselves - to be tempted by the temporary pleasure of the sin as long as we live. This temptation, however, would never be possible if we were to refrain ourselves from eating the "forbidden fruit," as we would not know of the temporary pleasure it may bring. For example, a person that's never had sex would never truly know the pleasures of it - only the stories heard from the others. However, once we allow sin to enter in to our lives, the temporary pleasure of the sin dominates our lives.

Not only does sin allow the world to invade our spirit, but it also makes us insecure.

“She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.” Genesis 3:6-7

As we see from this passage, we were created to be holy and totally secure in God’s glory. However, as soon as we allow sin into our lives, like Adam and Eve, we are immediately separated from God, and become instantly insecure. This curse is our own doing. We keep cursing ourselves to be distanced from God, as He is totally pure in Holiness, and we begin to die – like a plant that dies without sunlight. Death in this matter is caused by the absence of God, Who is the source of security, and we become instantly confused of our purpose, become crushed with insecurity, and begin to seek value (redemption) from the wrong sources.

If we can possible sum up all the ways we have slaughtered God's heart and separated ourselves from His Holiness, it really seems impossible for us to ever be reunited with God. But, that’s where Jesus comes in, and God proves there’s no economy in His kingdom – it is not by merit, but by Grace. Jesus pulls back the gap we created with sin and creates the one and only bridge back to God. Without Christ, all true happiness is destroyed, life is pointless, and we would be eternally doomed. And this eternal damnation for all His creation would have crushed God's heart in to millions of pieces.

Thank you Jesus for the cross. I am sorry for breaking your heart. Help me to live according to your will - Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.

Love

I've been searching for the definition of love since I was in middle school. I think I was really odd as a kid, and If people knew some of the things I thought of in my times alone (even now), I think I might scare people. Sometimes it gets too intense - zoning in on broad topics and pushing harder and harder and harder to find the core - but I have fun by myself thinking this way. It makes me feel alive :)

Anyways, this topic of Love... is a hard one. There's so much depth to Love (especially the real Love from God), that it'll never be fully understood. However, God is poetic, and He has given us the power to reason and has blessed us with all the amazing creations in this world to see, taste, and hear a little bit of His true Love. Lately, I've been reflecting on the subject of "intimate love" - in greek it's called Eros. It is the closest Love that comes near Agape, or divine love. Honestly, in my opinion, as Christians, we should strive to reach Agape in all areas of our lives, weather it be Eros or Philia (friendship love). The more our hearts become aligned with God's heart, and the more we see through God's eyes, Christ's Love (agape) should overflow straight through us. Since the process of consecrating ourselves for God and being aligned to His will is a life long process, I believe Love will be a life long lesson. For now, I can only speak of the Love I've learned throughout my meek, twenty five years of life.

I knew from the beginning, even before I became a Christian, I couldn't trust the definition of Love that was being produced by our society - It was too fickle, inconsistent, and short lasting. "Love" depended on too much emotions and not enough reasoning, and since I'm a more logic based thinker, it was impossible to accept all the fluff I saw on TV. I believed "Love" was overused in our culture and has become a subjective word for individuals. And if someone believed in one form of "love" and another believed in another form, who could ever put a finger on the real definition of love? I was always so baffled by the way everyone was okay with accepting that people were entitled to their perspective of "Love", especially because when people say to each other "I love you", the person hearing it has no clue of what that truly means. When anything (which is almost everything in our culture) becomes subjective, it's impossible to know the right and wrong, and in the end makes it really hard to communicate with people. I believed that there are things that can be left for discussion, but believed that there are things that should be objective and constant. As for Love, I believed that emotions come and go, and I needed something more solid - something that'll stay constant throughout all time - to be the source that produces the most beautiful things in life. If Love was anything as wavering like our emotions, I felt like the whole world had no absolute - everything would be relative and chaotic. And luckily, being born in to a Christian family, I learned about the Love that Jesus represented. Even though He was just a good speaker at that time, something about the way Paul described Christ's Love in 1 Corinthians 13, always stuck with me. All the characteristics described in the passage are all actions (sometimes forced through humility) produced to bless another. This really seemed like a great foundation for Love, as these actions portrayed in the Bible were anything but inconsistent, self-serving, and the emotional "love" I felt like our society was feeding us. From this point, Love was mostly action, a choice, and very little emotion. I wanted to perform Love, and not just feel it. However, as God touched my heart, and I began to see His blessings more clearly - God has given us emotions and reasoning capabilities for a purpose: Maybe to Love. My definition of Love has evolved and has made room for emotion to play a bigger role - "being in love" is the emotional ingredient which leads to performing Love. I believe "being is love" is the explosion that starts it all - that makes you decide to Love from that point on - to constantly be the vessel for Christ to expand His divine, unconditional love.

"Natural love expects some return, but Paul says - I do not care whether you love me or not, I am willing to destitute myself completely, not merely for your sakes, but that I may get you to God... He says that in His Kingdom he that is greatest shall be the servant of all. The real test of the saint is not preaching the gospel, but washing disciples' feet, that is, doing the things that do not count in the actual estimate of men but count everything in the estimate of God." - My Utmost for His Highest

Once the engine is sparked, to maintain the engine to continue running, it is not merely feelings any longer. "It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God." - CS Lewis. I believe it is a constant process of "dying to myself" and allowing Christ to love through me. Once I understood the concept of "allowing Christ to love through me", the choice to love selflessly became so easy. Love became a ministry to spread God's love - the unconditional love that expects nothing in return and chooses to continuously pour out Love even through the dry periods. For awhile, I was delusional - I loved others expecting some sort of reciprocation back. However, I recently realized this is not love, but self-service. I was loving others, putting them in debt, and expecting some sort of love payment back. When faced with betrayal or actions that was sub par to "my level of love", my love for others faded - my love was conditional. This is definitely not the Love Christ wishes me to portray as a follower of His Word. I wish to be an example of Christ's unconditional Love, which I know will stretch me to the fullest and challenge all sorts of logic. However, my logic stands to submit to the Lord of the heavens, and to practice His way of Love, not my subjective, conditional Love.

I wish for my life to be a ministry that is not departmentalized - so that everything I do is for His glory and that I may be broken bread and poured-out wine in the hands of Jesus Christ for other lives. I wish to constantly be reminded that Love is black or white, as Jesus did not leave room for discussion.

"People get from books the idea that if you have married the right person you may expect to go on 'being in love' for ever. As a result, when they find they are not, they think this proves they have made a mistake and are entitled to a change - not realizing that, when they have changed, the glamour will presently go out of the new love just as it went out of the old one. In this department of life, as in every other, thrills come at the beginning and do not last. The sort of thrill a boy has at the first idea of flying will not go on when he has joined the R.A.F. and is really learning to fly. The thrill you feel on first seeing some delightful place dies away when you really go to live there. Does this mean it would be better not to learn to fly and not to live in the beautiful place? By no means. In both cases, if you go through with it, the dying away of the first thrill will be compensated for by a quieter and more lasting kind of interest. What is more, it is just the people who are ready to submit to the loss of the thrill and settle down to the sober interest, who are then most likely to meet new thrills in some quite different direction. The man who has learned to fly and become a good pilot will suddenly discover music; the man who has settled down to live in the beauty spot will discover gardening. This is, I think, one little part of what Christ meant by saying that a thing will not really live unless it first dies." - CS Lewis