Where's my high?

I've been attending morning prayers at a nearby church this week to strengthen my mental, physical, and spiritual discipline, as well as to pray for the ones I love. In the beginning of the week, it was extremely emotional. I'd wake up, get in the car , turn on my favorite song - "How He Loves" - and tears would drip my cheeks as I drove to pray. As I drove, I felt like I was preparing to go to war. And once I got to church, my prayers "felt" powerful- like I was moving the unmovable. However, today wasn't the same. My prayers didn't "feel" as powerful and "felt" like I was throwing my prayers with my left arm- moving only a couple feet. Maybe it was because I was tired. But my mindset wasn't any different. I didn't believe in God any less than the days before, and my prayer was definitely genuine. At the end, I came out of the church a little confused. Why wasn't I as spiritually high as the other days? Am I getting too used to coming to morning prayer? The thought of losing the ability to generate emotional, "powerful" prayers, frightened me.

Its very obvious that Satan has attempted to trick me once again. He tried to bend my mind backwards, to think the product of the Spirit is some sort of emotional high or the formation of tears. However, although emotional periods are a blessing, I must also take the calm, stoic times with gratitude and accomplish things that cannot be done during high emotional periods. I must discern the reasons for my emotional/stoic state correctly and not undermine His grace that lives in me.

This leads in to a thought that's been in my heart for quite some time- spiritual gifts. I believe that spiritual gifts can be just as harmful, as they can be beneficial- similar to currency. Once you receive a gift, it feels so powerful, that Christians even become pretentious about it. It's great to want spiritual gifts, but people must be careful to seek their true motive for such gifts. For example, when people want to be rich, I'd question their motive. What's the point? And if it's for good reason, will you ACTUALLY do it? Or are you justifying your desire and lying to yourself? Is it just another badge on your belt? You can't trick God!

I pray that God will bless me in time with spiritual gifts - when my character is ready to handle such responsibilities. So, rather than the gifts, I pray that God builds me to be His worshipper with Jesus-like characters. I hold Humility at the core of my faith, and nothing else. Spiritual gifts are secondary.